The quotations in the following post are taken from interviews with people who were raised in Christian homes and chose to leave that faith as adults. The interviews were conducted for a separate project.
INDOCTRINATING CHILDREN
Christ is not accepted simply because a crucifix is forced down the windpipe of a vulnerable child. In the same way that a person is not committed to marriage by the atrocity of being raped, so a child is not a Christian by merit of being born.
“I have a problem with people labeling children. I do not think a baby can be Christian, because the baby doesn’t know what that means.” – Chris.
When a child is born to an attending family, the membership automatically goes up. Has the child professed some belief? Has he/she signed the dotted line or recognized Christ’s sovereignty? While certainly the child is welcome, and the parents are obligated to teach him/her as truthfully as they know, the child is not a member of any religion. A baby can be no more a Christian than a Buddhist because he/she has not understood any measure of Spirit or Truth.
I think that what I read and other people’s interpretations seemed at odds. My mom said, “Do you want your baby to go to Hell? Because that’s what will happen if you don’t get it baptized.” Seriously, what kind of religion says that a baby who hasn’t done anything will be condemned? I think that seems illogical. Why would you believe in a god like that? –Kimberly
As adults we watch these children grow and be taught. They often attend religious services alongside their parents. They attend Sunday school, worship, and other rituals. They memorize songs, portions of text, holiday traditions, Biblical narratives, and ritual practices. They do all this, before they are capable of understanding the implications of any of it. This is not education, it is indoctrination.
Certainly I am not arguing that it would be responsible, or even possible to raise a child in moral neutrality, spiritual ambiguity, or utter metaphysical ignorance. It is important that a child be given a framework in which to function.
But it is another thing entirely to have 2000 years of tradition, ritual and narrative forced upon a young mind. Since children are basically incapable of distinguishing between fantasy and reality before the age of seven it is reasonable to assume that they are unable to deal with the intricacies of truth with regard to the spirit world and how it might interact with our physical existence.
Comedian Jon Stewart Satirizes Christianity and his own background in Judaism with the following remarks:
The Jewish concept of God is too difficult to fathom. An omniscient, omnipotent Peeping Tom who loves us and smites our enemies. Although recent history suggests he’s a little slow on the smiting. We were created in his image, but you can’t see him or describe him. And why did he give us so much black hair?
The Christians had it right. Want to worship Jesus? Here’s a picture of him on the wall next to the refrigerator. There’s even one on black velvet. Not enough? Look at these movies he did. Long hair, sad eyes, trim…not a bad looking fellow. Put him on your dash board and go! He’s even got his own musicals. (Naked Pictures of Famous People p.46)
In the 6th grade I was going to my friend’s Confirmation party, and I asked all of them how they felt about being confirmed. I wanted to know if I was the only one just going through the motions. None of them said they believed it. There were fifteen or twenty of them and they all faked it. My mom threatened to throw me out of the house when I said I didn’t want to get confirmed. It was a huge fight. I did not want to go through with it because the nuns were saying that you should not get confirmed if you are not 100% sure about it. Going back to my mom and saying I did not want to do it was not an option. That was not ok. I asked her why and she said, “So you can get married in the church.” She wasn’t married in the church. I know there were other kids like me but we all did it anyway. My cousin was my confirmation sponsor. I got an Emenem CD as a gift. We flirted with boys the whole time; we did not take it seriously because we did not want to be there. – Kimberly
In their book Why We Believe What we Believe, Andrew Newberg, MD (Psychiatrist) and Mark Waldman (Therapist) write the following discourse:
Many young children cannot tell if they will be punished or praised for their behavior by an unseen, omnipotent God. Some parents intuitively recognize this power and thus may be inclined to invoke a fear of God’s wrath as they try to encourage their children to behave in specific ways. However, there may be a price to pay for taking this approach. According to extensive research carried out by two psychology professors – Bob Altemeyer and Bruce Hunsburger – Children who grow up in fundamentalist families do tend to obey the authorities and follow the rules, but they also tend to be self-righteous, prejudicial and condemnatory toward people outside their groups. They have an us versus them mentality that many will carry throughout their lives. On the other hand, fundamentalists congregations experience a 50 percent dropout rate among their members.
Imagine being a child in 1741 in church on the day that Jonathan Edwards, the American Puritan preacher, delivered on of the most famous sermons in American history. Edwards shouted from his pulpit, for nearly an hour, that everyone in the room was a sinner, teetering on the edge of a fiery pit: “And you, children, who are unconverted, do you know that you are going down to Hell, to bear the dreadful wrath of that God, who is now angry with you every day and every night?” You might as well read Stephen King to your four-year-old at bedtime.
A punitive god, like a punitive parent, encourages children to internalize anxious and potentially destructive concepts. As negative beliefs develop, they too become embedded in the neuronal connections being formed in the brain, and this makes them difficult to relinquish later on in life. Fortunately, the majority of religious groups successfully instill the disposition to forgive others. Belief in a compassionate and forgiving god can give a child a since of optimism and safety. (p121-122)
As a child, I grew up in Huntsville, Alabama with my parents and my two older brothers. We always attended church services; twice on Sunday and in the evenings on Wednesday. I grew up being taught Christianity as Truth and innocently accepted it as much as any math lesson at school. Being raised in the Bible-Belt, most of my friends, even at school, were from Christian families or were quiet about it if they weren’t. To my undeveloped mind, being Christian was given and exceptions were an aberration. Christianity was never anything I felt passionate about, it was merely factual. To say that there is a God and that Jesus Christ was His son and the Savior of all humanity was to say that the Earth was round; something well established and beyond question. In fact, even up to my very first year of high school, I thought I was a Christian by benefit of being born into a Christian family. It was not until I realized I was not yet officially a Christian that any other possibility even occurred to me. – Caleb
I don’t know if ‘believe’ is the right word for how I felt about church and Christianity as a child. To me, it was about as real as any story or fantasy I was exposed to at the time. Of course, the slight added investment was that I thought everyone around me did ‘believe’ it, and I knew, at least to some degree, that I was expected to as well. –Timothy
I did Confirmation and Communion. Like everything else, I was just doing it because I had to. If you want to get married you have to do these two things. If you are going to be Catholic you have to do these two things, there is no choice. Most kids I’ve talked to just go to Church because it is mandatory for them. Most of them are sleeping, or texting. I had my Gameboy. I didn’t know what was going on. – Chris
Is it reasonable to say that these people have left Christianity? Have they abandoned an accepted oath? No, they never entered into a spiritual union. There was no mutual covenant of spirit and man. These are the words of those given to the Church as the bride of an arranged marriage, not those who have accepted the partnership of Christ.